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Captain Morgan

Depressing Triggering Thread

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this post may be depressing and triggering for someone with mental illness, so if you don't want to then don't read. and you might not like what i have to say but please don't attack me. i'm just upset and venting

 

it's so so so exhausting taking care of people with mental illness. i'm at such a low point and i feel like i have no control over anything, or my own life anymore. my brother tried to commit suicide last week

 

my mom and brother are both paranoid depressed schizophrenics(genetic), and my brother also has aspergers on top of that

 

it's just too fucking much sometimes. what boggles the mind is that they are very smart. they can help you out with any math problem and figure out any puzzle. but they can't understand that they need medication and are being selfish when they go off their meds. our whole lives is a cycle of them taking their meds for like 2 weeks and then declining again, back and forth to the hospital

 

because of this, i feel like i'm never gonna have a life of my own. how can i? when this is always on my mind. even if i moved far away and left them, my heart would always be worried about them. in the end, i'm the one who ends up taking anxiety meds and smoking weed and getting drunk because of their shit

 

all i have to say is, mental illness is a bitch.

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